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10:16am 17/05/2007
  Well I'm taking my summer classes now. Also Suzen if you would like to call your more then wellcome too. I got a cd I've been looking for years. Tapping the Vein, The Damage. I also got Quills and a book called "The Cage." Then tomarrow "The Pain Journa" Should be coming in. So far this week I've applied at 18 places. I hope this gets me some where. Michigan sucks for jobs. *makes face*  
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08:11pm 03/01/2007
  things to do...
Sign up for Classes...I'm so lazy
Find new job....
get over what ever I have and NOT get something else....
go to target get more bras....
Buy poster maybe ish...
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I've comprised a list   
05:46pm 09/11/2006
mood: content
Snacks to buy for Trip

2 Cans of Pringles
1 bag of Chex
1 bag of cheetos
1 bag of Gold Fish
2 lunchables...
4 cans of V8

that is all.... for now.. I think that will be all it'll hold me over for uhmm 6ish hours.....

List of things to pack...

3 pairs of pants
1 skirt and or dress
4 shirts.
6 pairs of socks and under wear.
Hygeine bag and tampons
The Cd's Celeste needs to hear..
Scrapbook thing
and any needed studying material....

this is more for me than any of you....I forget things.... A lot..... well all the time......

I most deffiantlly have the time off work to do this....ROCKIN'.....*dances*

I have to pee
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01:43am 08/11/2006
mood: excited
well....I'm trying to work my hours out so I have next weekend off..to go to Chicago.... I need it...with Jen Murphy dieing and work sucking so hard core I think thats a great B-day Present tomyself.....I know I'm workin an 8 hour sunday..which means Monday will be 5 thats 13 right there...then Wensday will be around 5 thats 18 and then of course I will work around 4 or 5 friday morning which is around 22, 23 hours....so if Meijer has a problem they can kiss my ass....Also friday befor I leave I'm going to see Happy Feet with Jesse, his mom is paying since he cant and thats what he was going to give me for my birthday....I'm also going to be willing to work the super late shift the monday I get back that way they can't sock it to me to badlly for not working the weekend....yes that's 4 days off total next week.....but I've only be schedule for 3 or 4 latlly because of the new people they've hired....
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09:24pm 25/10/2006
  Well I set off for the Dr.'s a bag full of cans to get a full tank of gas....well I was about 10 minutes away on 475 when my car broke down...litterally just quite running well it's going to be around $180 -200 to fix....... *sighs*.... I've lost weight ...Dr. is mad about work and school together and amount of hours...  
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Work last night...   
07:44am 17/10/2006
mood: awake
Work last night wasnt bad.. I acutally had a pretty good night, slow and boring but peaceful and anti-getting yelled at.... How ever the way there was shaky and back as well.. there I was so BELHK that I almost got in an acident twice really... and I was almost out of oil.. then on the way home.. it was raining I was stressed and tired... I hit a racoon.... I didn't see it till I it was to late for me to stop..... *sighs*.....
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02:58pm 16/10/2006
  So tired...worn out...shutting shutting shutttttinggg down......  
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Recent News   
07:48am 12/10/2006
  I'm working at Meijer as a cashier, and I don't mind it... good pay and decent health benifits. How ever working 40 hours a week there and then school is a bit much my little body just wants to temporairlly shut down. It's snowing. ALso happy belated National COming out day.. that was yesterday.  
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01:56am 03/10/2006
  Well uhmmm Jobs I'm concidering applying for that interest me and my lack of direction right now.

1. Stripper
2. Waiteress at a strip club and other wise.
3. a greeter at a strip club
4. Mejeir
5. Wal- Mart
6. Deli Girl at local store.

thats about it...so far the strip joint wins.
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Soo uhmmm   
07:46pm 25/09/2006
  1st my hair... it's a brownish color now...

2nd I went to Paltium show girls. I saw lots of boobs and stuff it was great.. I got a free t-shirt...
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Shopping and cleaning   
08:11am 14/09/2006
mood: cranky
I went to Wal-Mart last night because I needed socks and some school suplies. I ended up getting underwear and a 5 dollar movie. I feel sexy in the underwear and the movie seems like it's going to be pretty damn good.

I also started cleaning my room last night after my Uncle and grandpa practically destroyed it. If that don't fix that damn whole in my wall and stop smoking in there when I'm not home I'm going to fucking kill some one. I will end up completelly loosing my mind. They wonder why I don't like to go home. I'll tell them why. THEY SUCK!! I got some storage containers so practically all my stuff is in containers so all I need to do now is find an affordable place to live, and get some boxs for books and cloths. I might just get some more rubber maid for my books. That way when ever I move it'll be easier to do it. I hope no one lets the damn cats in my room. My rats are on the floor right now and I know the cats aren't past breaking into the cage. Yesterday when I was in my room the cats were sitting on top of the cage watching them. And I don't think there was freindlly intent.
Tomarrow I'm going to clean the rest of the house. I don't understand why I'm the only one that does the cleaning and I haven't spent one night at home in 4 weeks. I seirouslly only go there to feed and water the animals and play with them for a few hours. I hope when I find a place I can take my rats, dog and my kitten. I love that kitten. I think he knows I'm his rescuer. I don't even know why I call it home. I just use it for storage at this moment. I look forward to school, I can escape all them and just sit with my freinds and learn. I can relax drink a big ass cup of coffee and just relax.

My mom wants me to stay at the house and keep it clean and in good repair for her. That way when she comes back to Michigan she has a place to go. Problem, I dont want to stay. Is it really fair to ask your childern not to move or travel the world just because you move and want your house to stay in good repair? I'm young, and you know what I'm restless. I love traveling I want to move I hate that house I want something bigger. I know she isn't going to continue to pay the bills once greg moves out and stuff. She only pays the major ones right now so she has the house in 2 years. If I join the peace corp. as I want to do, I want be able to watch the house for her. That's all I am, her house sitter. Long term house sitter.

I know I might sound like your sibling or some spoiled rich child. But I want to live in the city I want to travel the world join the peace corp. I haven't done a lot of things I wanted too. I even settle for a community College this year so I wouldn't need to let my brother feed himself while he's in high school.

When will it be about what Rose wants? What Rose needs? I think thats why I miss my great grandparents so much. Great grandpa always gave me books, and grandma gave me blankets. She taught me how to sew so if I was ever to poor to buy my own cloths or my favorite shirt or pants ripped I could fix it. If I needed a blanket I could make it. They taught me so much, how to read, how to write, even how to be the best farmer I could be. How to work on tractors, how to be responcible for my own actions and no one elses. They were very poor but they helped me do Lions Band, because grandma said " It'll be good for her, she'll learn, she'll grow. What does it matter that I'm giving her $50, she wants this bad enough to tell me I don't need to help." My grandma loved my music. She loved the fact that I could play more then one insturment. My greatgrandparents supported me, they encuraged me. They told me to reach for my dreams and not be pushed down. It's almost like when they were layed down to rest so were my dreams.

There isn't a day that I don't cuddle up in a good book or nice warm quilt and not think of them. There isnt a day that I dont look at a garden or can of baby food and think of grandpa. His quite simple gentle nature. Or when I meet an overally social really out spoken older woman that I don't think of grandma. When things would get hard with my mom I use to go to their house. I spent meny summers with them. They taught me so much. Even how to be strong in the face of disease. Watching them get older and sicker was hard on me. But seeing how much they loved each other was enough for them.

When I'm in school I rember grandma, " With out an education you are nothing, in this world you need to be more then smart you need to prove your smart. Go to school get good grades make great freinds. Make the most of the time you have." But my mom, "don't go to chicago, don't go to lansing...stay close to home for college."

Now the woman wants to me get a job down there.. I would end up killing her. Or she would get mad at me for being better are it then her. Then never let me feel good about being so good with medical carreers. Fuck her, I want to become a Dr. of sorts. I want to work with living and dead people. I want to find out whats wrong, or the cause of death. So I'm going to do it. If I die befor I'm done... hey at least I tried.
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Recent News   
07:53am 12/09/2006
  I'm getting new glasses. My eyes have indeed gotten worse. These are almost like my black ones just with red instead of black. Also my driving test is Monday at 10:00 am... I need to get my schoofur(sp) lisence.  
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The car I ended up getting.   
02:36pm 10/09/2006
mood: frustrated
I didn't get the Crown Vic. But I got a Daytona.
It was $500 and has
1. A working Cd player and radio
2. Working lights ALL OF THEM
3. It runs well
and 4. The sun roof doesnt leak..

I only need to replace the batterie, look at the wind sheild wipers and get an electronic Speed-o-meter.

My mom said she'd pay the first 6 months of insurance I find a policy thats willing to cover me for $118.54 a month A LOT LOWER then every one else and she dicides not to pay that. Only to pay 2 months of it.... and then I'm sure she'll expect me to pay her back. She pays Greg's insurance ALL OF IT... she ALWAYS replaces his plates. SHE BOUGHT HIS CAR.... I was asking her to help me out for 6 months only. Not the rest of my life only 6 months and she doesnt even want to do two. *sighs* I can use my pop bottle money and the money jesse's mom gives me to clean their house and pay for my car insurance. I think tomarrow I'm going to look into a checking acount and start putting all my money into it till the end of the month when Insurance is due. Then I can pay for it and not have to worry. Because I worry about her helping me at all. She was first going to buy me a cheep car and insurance then it was just 6 months of insurance now it's only 2 and if I don't activate it for another month then I bet because I'll have the money saved away she'll ask me to pay for it... *sighs* I guess I shouldv'e seen it coming. I mean for the past 5 years I've been buying my own cloths, my own hair cuts, my school stuff... She just expects me to cover myself all the time now with everything... I've let her skimp on being a parent for 5 years. Ever since I knew how to make a penny work and how save it and spend it when needed. I mean I even bought my own TAMPONS..... GAH!!!!!!!!!Anything I ever wanted, or needed I bought it.

I guess in the end it will be good for me to have had to take care of myself all these years but still.. She's my parent.... I've always worked off the things she did pay for. She asked me to.
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States I've been to or lived in....Gotta love military parents.   
10:18am 09/09/2006

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.
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A car   
10:09am 09/09/2006
mood: excited
Well ladies and gents, I found a Crown Vicortia for $1,800 and the guy is letting me make payments. My frist payment is going to be for $500 or more so I'm over a quater of the way payed off... I don't get to take the car home till he has all of the money in hand. Which is understandable. I'm just so excited to be getting a car. I need to return the bottles and cans from Jesse's house today to figure out how much I will owe exactlly. My dad said he will help me pay for it. Since mom bought greg his first car and he bought my step sister hers. The least he feels he can do is help pay for mine.... I'm so fucking excited about getting this car. Now he told the man who was interested that it was sold. He just needs to talk his wife into letting me make payments for at least 2 months. He told me he would be able to so I'm pretty sure it's going to be my car. Nothing is wrong with it By the way kids.
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So much to think about.......   
01:20pm 08/09/2006
mood: calm
There is a lot to think about in life. How do you figure it all out? These qustions deprive you of sleep of life almost. Why is it that a person needs to think about life. Why can't it all be simple and spelled out....? Meh...
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So uhmm yeah...   
07:30pm 03/09/2006
  I dyed my hair black. That way I can work and have a natural color that covers up the unnatural mess I had going on. *sighs* I'm tired but all in all really good. My ex is singal and I don't know if she even reads LJ any more so I'm going to put it out there..... I am not going to be forward and all over her like a freind of ours and I wont push her into anything... because I'm a passive lazy bitch.... No I'm just going to honestlly admitt that I still harbor feelings for her...That is all.  
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04:15pm 27/08/2006

-- Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Information --

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Kittens and Cats...   
11:50pm 25/08/2006
  Well as life would have it I'm allergic to my cats. I would like to give them to good homes only, and the humain society isnt taking kittens anymore it would seem. So if you would like a cat please let me know.  
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My brain is save for the weekend...   
11:12am 25/08/2006
mood: cranky
Well when I went to classes yesterday I was expecting to get brain raped again but Mike, Didn't know what Ron had told us to read so... in effect I dont have any actual home work for Paramedic. Math I guess I do, all thats left is to correct it damn lazy teachers. I sit in the cyber cafe / lounge every day befor classes and I always have these random guys start talking to me... I told one guy he was creeping me out, he kept looking at me... I'm concidering skipping my math class on Tuesday so I can go to the GSA kick off, their at the same time and I think I can miss a day of quite litterally dumb peoples math to go to that. I mean it is important to me...Any way a guy in my Medic class I've known him since I was like 4 or 5 he told me not to worry about being late. When I got to class I was pretty out of breath, I actually think that's an understatement. Any way I'm going to go sit and do nothing for a little while.
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